wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
