didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
