That's intense
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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