i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
