you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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