Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
