Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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