Please, let me fuck your mom
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
