Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize