its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
