I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
