She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He shit in the fireplace
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
