Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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