Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
True strength comes from lack of pants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
