we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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