we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Damn victory sex feels great
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
