hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize