like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
