i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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