and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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