Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
