I wanna bring you to show and tell
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize