Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
soo... how was my night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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