Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize