Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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