I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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