you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
