I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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