as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
