scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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