I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
