She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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