my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize