Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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