those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
