idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
