We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
