Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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