I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
