he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
