just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
