Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
