What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
