The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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