do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
