sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
