Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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