How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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