At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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