you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
