walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize