That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
