Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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