D3 body, D1 cock
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
