so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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