Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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