so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
