Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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