Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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