I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
