Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
