Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
