unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
