it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
