If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
