Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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