Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
