I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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